The Hakomi Principles: Non-Violence

Non-violence is the only one of the Hakomi principles that is defined in the negative. It is the belief that therapy must happen in accordance with the ongoing consent and sense-of-safety of each client’s conscious and unconscious parts of self. It also means that the therapist attempts to be free of any agendas—other than keeping close to heart the highest good for the client—while doing therapy.

According to Ron Kurtz, the progenitor of Hakomi therapy, “To work nonviolently, we must drop notions about making clients change and, along with that, any tendency to take credit for their successes.” He goes on to say that, however, as Hakomi therapists, “that doesn’t mean we have to be passive; nonviolence is not inaction. We can work without using force or the ideas and methods of a paradigm of force” (Kurtz, 1990, p. 4).

What this means to me is that not only is Hakomi therapy a powerful tool for self-development (and a day-in, day-out friggin’ delightful way to get to practice therapy), but it’s also quite radical: in a culture that wields and celebrates power and dominance, purposely making nonviolent spaces for the evolution of consciousness is downright subversive.

How does this nonviolence get to actually happen in therapy, though? Again, Ron Kurtz says, “We do it by providing warmth and understanding, by creating a proper setting for the re-emergence of courage and vulnerability. We do it by recognizing those aspects of the client that are ripe for growth, encouraging, and supporting that ripening.”

As a practitioner of Chinese medicine and student of Classical Chinese, this quote brings to mind the Chinese idiom “pulling up rice shoots to help them grow”: that, when we attempt to encourage something to grow through the use of force, instead of helping we inevitably cause harm, instead.

Interested in pursuing therapy that utilizes mindfulness and respects the connection between your mind and body? Schedule an Initial Consultation to see if this work might be a good fit! 

Reference: Kurtz, Ron (1990). Body-centered Psychotherapy: The Hakomi Method, Updated Edition. LifeRhythm